Kenyan Man, 35 Years Younger Than His American Wife, Reveals How Their Facebook Love Survived Distance

 

A Kenyan businessman has opened up about his unconventional marriage to an American woman 35 years older than him, revealing how their relationship has survived long-distance separation, family objections and immigration challenges.

Bernard Musyoki, a businessman from Malindi, was 37 when he married Deborah Jan Spicer, who was 72 at the time, at Sheria House in Nairobi on February 2, 2021.

The couple’s relationship began on Facebook in 2017 before developing into a serious romance despite the significant age difference and the thousands of miles separating their homes.

For Musyoki, however, neither age nor distance was enough to stand in the way of what he describes as genuine love.

Kenyan man marries American woman 35 years older

When Musyoki and Deborah appeared before the registrar in Nairobi, they exchanged vows and committed themselves to marriage.

The wedding was modest. Musyoki bought a KSh50 wedding ring, while Deborah used a ring she already owned.

For the couple, the value of the rings was insignificant compared with the commitment they were making.

“I bought a ring worth KSh50 for my wedding and my wife used the one she had,” Musyoki recalled.

He said Deborah never cared about the price of the ring because what mattered to her was the man wearing it.

“She told me she didn’t mind the fact that I got a cheap ring. What mattered to her was me, her prince charming,” he said.

Their love story began on Facebook

Musyoki and Deborah first connected on Facebook in 2017.

What started as an online friendship gradually developed into a romantic relationship. Despite objections from friends and relatives, the two decided to pursue the relationship.

Their romance eventually led to marriage, with the couple exchanging vows in Nairobi.

However, marriage did not mean they could immediately begin living together.

Deborah lives in Michigan in the United States, while Musyoki remains in Kenya.

The couple has therefore had to build their marriage across continents.

How the couple maintains a long-distance marriage

Musyoki said technology has played a major role in keeping their relationship strong.

The couple regularly uses video calls to share everyday experiences despite being thousands of miles apart.

They have virtually gone shopping together, taken walks while connected through video calls and even cooked together.

“Sometimes I might encounter something interesting and she is the first person I want to share it with,” Musyoki said.

He believes these seemingly simple interactions have helped strengthen their relationship.

“This has made us grow fond of each other every passing day,” he added.

Couple separated by thousands of miles

Musyoki revealed that the last time he physically saw his wife was in June 2021.

The prolonged separation has not been easy.

He admitted that, like any other couple, they experience difficulties, but the physical distance can make some challenges particularly difficult.

“Sometimes I miss her so much. With distance, you don’t know sometimes what your partner is up to and so you need all the reassurance you can get,” he said.

Trust, he explained, has become an important part of their marriage.

Musyoki said he remains faithful to Deborah and believes she is equally committed to their relationship.

“I take care of myself, I am faithful and I know my wife is faithful too,” he said.

Visa setback keeps couple apart

The couple has also faced immigration challenges in their efforts to spend more time together.

Musyoki attempted to travel to the United States to visit Deborah but was denied a visa.

He said the visa process can be demanding, requiring applicants to provide documentation about their relationship as well as financial information.

The setback meant the couple had to continue their marriage from separate continents.

“It was hard saying goodbye and not knowing when we’ll see each other next,” Musyoki said.

Despite the disappointment, he remains hopeful that they will eventually be able to live together.

“I hope we can finally be together soon. She is the best thing that ever happened in my life,” he said.

How Bernard and Deborah celebrate their anniversary

The couple has also found creative ways to celebrate important milestones despite the distance.

Their anniversary falls on February 4, and they planned to mark the occasion together virtually.

Because of the time difference between Kenya and Michigan, Deborah would have lunch in the United States while Musyoki had dinner in Kenya, with the two connecting through a video call.

For them, the physical distance does not prevent them from creating shared memories.

Bernard Musyoki’s advice to long-distance couples

Musyoki believes communication is the key to maintaining a long-distance relationship.

He advises couples separated by distance to make communication a daily priority and ensure that both partners feel emotionally connected.

“Good communication is key, don’t let a day pass without communication,” he said.

According to Musyoki, meeting each other’s communication needs can make thousands of miles feel considerably smaller.

For Bernard and Deborah, their marriage has been shaped by an unusual combination of age difference, distance, technology and determination.

While they may live on different continents, their daily calls, video chats and shared virtual experiences have become a way of maintaining the connection that began with a simple Facebook friendship.

Their story is ultimately one of a couple attempting to make a long-distance marriage work despite circumstances that have repeatedly kept them apart.